Monday, August 18, 2014

A short text about choices and opportunities

At certain moments in life you come upon a point that you ask yourself “And now what? What’s the next step? What is it that I can do that will take me one step closer to finding my passion, to accomplish great things, to be of most use to the world?”

Sometimes, fortunately, opportunities arise. But, how do you know which opportunity to take? We are incapable of predicting the outcome of our decisions, so how can we guarantee that the choices we make will be the right ones? And; how can you be sure that the opportunity you’re focusing on isn’t a step to high for you to reach? Wouldn’t you be better off aiming for something less ambitious, something that is easier to aim for, that will have a bigger chance of success to start with?

Choices, choices, choices. Maybe I just want too much. Maybe I’m too eager to get started with changing the world, whilst I still have to finish my Bachelor Environmental Science study. Maybe I’m asking too much from myself, being a person who needs time to do things well and to grow. Maybe I’m not born for excellence in the way that I can make a fast career, have a great network, make a big impact on the world at a young age…

That are a lot of maybe’s. Which is basically what life’s all about. Nothing is for sure.
So, at the moment, I’m going after a couple of possible opportunities. They might not work out, they might not lead me to where I want to be. For the coming months, I’m going to try get myself on an expedition to Antarctica, publish a wildlife conservation proposal of the Iberian Wolf, and develop an Environmental Education Program about marine environments and tourism.

Which might perfectly well not work out. Which might be a step too high for me right now. I’m reaching for the stars, but maybe it’s not my time yet.

But I don’t think I will lose anything for the sake of trying to do what I want to do. As I said in my last post, failure is not a bad thing, but rather an opportunity, and that we should all live our lives so that, when we look back, we’ll do so without regrets


Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Fear of failure, and how to live with no regrets

When we are young, we dream of fame, success, great achievements … And often you will believe that you’ll be the one who will make it, because you do everything as perfect as possible to ensure success.

But then life happens, as unpredictable as ever, and events can make our dreams, efforts and goals fall apart. Some people, or even you yourself, will say that “you missed the boat”, “you didn’t try your best” or “weren’t the right person for it”.

Doubt starts to arise. Who am I without my dreams, without my success? Do I deserve to be happy when I’m a failure? How would things have turned out if I had given more of me? How can I overcome this enormous, all-consuming, feeling of defeat?

This negative spiral of doubt, low self-esteem, shame, loss of identity, and even anger towards oneself can lead to depression, isolation, an intense fear of failure, anxiousness and a whole list of other symptoms.


Maybe, at some point, the pain of failure will pass, and you will once again start to chase a new dream and put all your effort, time and money in it. But, in a world where everything is measured in or success, or failure, only too often the outcome will be considered to be a failure, and you will be back at where you started, feeling depressed, lost and despaired at your incapacity to do anything right.

Because we think, that if what we did turned out to be a failure, we ourselves are a failure. Our society teaches us that we’re never good enough, rich enough, smart enough, pretty enough. Our society teaches us to link achievement and success to our personal self worth! We even attach our inner identity of who we truly are with accomplishments, thus when we meet failure in life, we feel deprived of self worth and identity, and see our lives as a series of consecutive failures, in our relationships, in our careers, in our health…

And then, the pressure to succeed becomes so enormous, the risk of failure becomes too great, and we let go of our dreams, for fear of not being able to cope with failure. The thought “better to let go of my dreams then to risk failure” appears.


But here society is wrong. It’s not true that there exists only success and failure. It isn’t black and white. Failure isn’t unacceptable, contrary to what society believes, but rather a necessary path to success. If failure would truly be unacceptable, we wouldn’t even be alive, because the whole essence of nature consists in endless attempts that end in failure, and a couple of successes.

Just to get my point: How would a baby learn to walk, without at least a couple of hundreds of failed attempts? How would the nature have been able to create life, and subsequently all living beings, without endless failed attempts at combining and recombining the building blocks of life? How would technology have advanced and developed without all the failures it has gone through?


The sad thing is that, sometimes we are so focused on archiving success as our ultimate goal, that we forget to enjoy the things we already have, the moment of now, and the whole journey of life. We forget to accept our limitations, we ignore to celebrate our efforts however small, and we will punish ourselves for our so-called failures.

Because, honestly, it’s fine to try just for the sake of trying, it’s fine if a goal isn’t reached or the outcome is unexpected. The most important thing is the effort, not merely the outcome. Remember all the positive things you will gain from failing: important life lessons, deeper knowledge and wisdom, knowing how things should and should not be done, a capacity to love yourself even if society dictates you should hate yourself for failing. Learn to accept, to let go, practice forgiveness and compassion, and be kind to yourself, in whatever situation. And maybe, learn to not see failure in a negative way, but rather as an opportunity, a stepping stone to new heights



Lastly, if you find your true calling, your passion, your dream; listen to it, and follow that what makes you feel most alive. Deep inside you, you know what to do, but fear of failing is often in the way, as are the people who advise you to not pursue your dream, in fear of you getting hurt, or in envy of you being brave enough to follow your dreams. Do what you’re here for to do, so you will live with no regrets. Because, one of the deepest regrets people have when they die is having not done what they wanted most, not having followed their dreams, and not having lived truly. 

Here is a very inspiring video that gave me the idea to write about this today; 


And a few quotes that might make you think ;)