It’s a
video about Third culture kids, TCK; people who have spent a significant part
of his or her developmental years outside the parents' culture. These people frequently
build relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in
any.
And I’m one of them.
When people
ask me where I’m from, the easy answer is “the Netherlands”. But when people start
to know me, they might notice that sometimes I say things like “when I lived in Sweden...” or “In brazil…” and people’s reaction is “What?? You’ve lived in Sweden?” to which
my response is often an unsecure yes, followed by a long explanation of all the
places I’ve lived, which somehow always makes me feel very embarrassed.
Yes, I’ve
lived in a lot of countries. According to others, because to me, having lived
in 8 different places, 5 countries, and 11 schools is my reality; it’s normal
to me.
Anyway, you
don’t have to have travelled so much as me to be a Third Culture Kid, in fact,
the video showed mostly people from one culture, who spent their childhood in
another country. And I know a lot of those people. In fact, most of my friends
are third culture kids, and they are great people; open, tolerant, intelligent,
fun and very grown up for their age.
Being a
world traveler, a Third Culture Kid, a Global nomad, has its good things;
- You learn to be very tolerant and respectful.
- You’re linguistic development is so much higher (I speak 3 languages fluently, and can understand another 4).
- You are very good at adapting to new situations.
- You get to know a whole variety of cultures and when to switch from one to the other in different situations.
- You develop excellent communication and diplomatic skills.
- Even in studies and careers we stand out; 4 more times probability to earn a bachelors degree, and in high-skilled positions as profession.
But then,
you can’t expect so much good without some downside, right? Imagine, like me, saying goodbye every 2 years of friends,
culture, places and people I loved, and starting all over again to learn a new
culture, a new language, to make new friends, to adapt.
- The enormous majority will always feel like outsides, no matter where they are.
- Barely any of us knows where home is.
- Questions of “where you’re from, who you are, what you are, who you can trust” only confuses us, as often we feel without a real identity.
- As your life radically changes, we often feel chronically uprooted and are confronted with much more experience of loss than the average person. Thus, unresolved grief is often one of the most important mental health issues.
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And then
there is the return to the home country. I’ve experienced it myself. And
to me, the Netherlands is no more my home than any other country. It goes along
with so many difficult feelings: people expect you to be happy being back “home”,
but is has never been your home. You don’t know how to act; because how can it
be expected from you to know how to behave culturally when you’ve barely ever
lived there? Going back to the country of your parents can be a complete and
profound culture shock.
Maybe all
this sounds very negative. And yes, being a global nomad does have its downsides. But what have I learnt from it? What are
the important lessons I’ve learnt from living in so many places?
I’m not
afraid to travel, and go and live somewhere else. I have complete confidence
that I can eventually make a home everywhere around the world. I’m open-minded,
tolerant, and have an enormous insight in cultures and people. I’ve seen far
more of the world then many will ever see, and I’ve learnt from it.
Despite the
negative effects, I would never wish to have stayed in just one place. I’m a
global citizen, a traveler, and I give thanks to the opportunities from which I
have learnt and grown as a person. I’ve had an opportunity that not many people
get, and I’m grateful for that. I’m a free person, and am maybe less terrified
then people who have never left their birth country to leave everything behind
and roam the world.
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